22. Taking Care of Our Elders

I recently had a hospital visit. There I saw, a frail elderly lady on a hospital bed being wheeled into a ward. I think she somehow found a slice of toast in the bed being wheeled. Her natural instinct was to try to chew it. The attendant prevented her from consuming it and said – ‘Lunch time is around’.

I had the following questions:

1.   Was the elderly lady in pain and discomfort or she was just hungry or both?

2.   If she was hungry, was she alone in her house? Who was caring for her?

3.  In a typical ‘normal’ day, who would provide her food if she was not mobile as seen in the hospital that day?

4.  Assuming there is none in her home besides her, was she going hungry most of the time in her home?

The above questions were landing like a drill in my heart. How depraved. can we, as a society, become - that we are completely ignoring our elders?

Everyone needs dignity in dying as much as how we all need dignity while living. One of the important parameters to know if we succeeded in excelling as a modern civilization is to know how we care about our elders especially the frail, old elders. We should not rush to put them in lonely ‘stone crypts’ called as ‘homes’ even when they are alive! It is simply vile that once the lonely elders pass away, the ‘stone crypts’ may then be renamed as  a  ‘real estate asset’ and sold for a gain.

It is high time, we mandate serious laws about elder care. It is not prudent to think that old age is far away for oneself. It can appear sooner than anticipated.

Like Child Protection Social Services, Social Services for elder care should also be promulgated. Both psychiatric evaluation and physical evaluation by qualified experts should be exercised for being admitted into the Elder Care and Protection Social Services. Some of the things that can be considered are:

1.      Are they capable of independently moving about?

2.      Is their cognisance good enough to support normal living?

3.      Are they able buy essentials things by themselves?

4.      Are they able to cook for themselves?

Sometimes, because of their inability to cook, they may settle for mundane home ordered restaurant food (if they are tech savvy) or eat pre-cooked supermarket foods laced with preservatives with possibly an inability to track the expiry dates.

5.      Are they able to consume prescribed medicines by themselves without excess or less or wrong dosages?

Imagine that they may be having serious conditions, and they must not miss any prescribed dosages – Can they track the medications by themselves and be self-reliant?

6.      What do they do for leisure?

7.      Are they getting bed sores?

8.      Who helps in their need for social interactions like going to church?

The government should spend money to build elder care centres where 100s or 1000s of elders can be cared leveraging economies of scale and together with fantastic setting that guarantees great living experiences and the concept of ‘dignity in dying’. A separate wing for palliative care should be commissioned in all such elder care centres. It is indeed a gift to be passing away amidst our caring friends!

Also, some free-to-stay dwelling units can be added to the elder care centers to accommodate visiting families and friends on weekends, special days and sudden visits. During such visits, dining with families can be a great experience to the elders. The elders may feel a lot more dignified if the stay and dining is free for the visiting friends and relatives. Afterall, it may be then considered as a elder sponsored family hosting and dining experience.

Government should also consider a law where the assets of orphaned elders can be committed to support elder care centres. This can happen with consent when the concerned elder person is alive and is willing to contribute to this great cause.  In my opinion, this is a very big punya or credit of good deed that will be considered by the law of karma! Or if the orphaned elder passes away without committing a will, the law should support the state to sell the assets of the deceased and orphaned elder and commit the proceeds to the great cause of supporting elder care centres. Even in this case, the deceased elderly person will get the credit of good deed.

The social lives of such elderly people in the elder care centres will become much better as they are set with their contemporary friends and social settings and even media screenings may contain shows that they like and is not a forced viewing. The food they eat will not only be fresh but also be considerate about their age and their body conditions.

An improved life style of our elders may also bring down the expenses around hospitalizations and medical care. National heath care systems like the NHS of UK may see a lot more rationale and effective use of critical health infrastructures.