There may be many forms of love – of higher dimensions, of golden relationships (mother father, grandparents), of friendships etc., But I am now referring to the primordial love and attraction that primarily happens between a male and a female, a most probable/preferred relationship in the natural order.

Please refer to my article at - https://www.mayoan.com/economy/07.-the-3-degrees-of-attractions .

In the experiences spectrum, love exists alongside bliss, happiness, buoyant-mood, delight etc., As every soul strives to be in pursuit of happiness while being in pursuit of excellence and great-commits, the experience of being loved and showing love is critical to consider the life as successful for almost all the higher species (consider Maslow's hierarchy). Even for the lower order of species like a bacterium, unicellular organisms etc., some lower order primordial versions of the feeling of love may exist!

When a soul, especially of higher order species like the human, evolves in life, and as it tries to be nearer to the bliss end of the spectrum of experiences, to retain a healthy mind and body, it needs to experience the feeling of being loved and giving love. If this does not happen for any artificial reasons, (say due to blind beliefs, strict social rules in some geographies or due to artificial practices/initiations of hidden societies), and as a consequence, the feeling of being loved and giving love is not felt by the soul, this may leave a big unfillable void in life !  What may start as an unrecognizable discomfort in a spontaneous moment of the teen age, may snow-ball into an enormous psychological problem later in life, that may have several effects like –

• Inability to define the idea of success in life – this may lead to recklessness in life even if you have become rich or have a rich inheritance or have scores of ‘friends’ and ‘relatives’ surrounding you

• General feeling of antagonism towards the opposite sex since in the sub-terranean realms of the psyche, the soul believes that it had not met the soul mate yet and its common-sense and feeling of self-importance tells that ‘It is not a problem of his own creation’ and ‘somebody failed to give it to him’! Even if the problem in on the partner soul, being not able to discover this early or discovering it very late in life – complicates the psychological problem.

• Feeling of void and emptiness in the mind and being unable to identify the root cause since this void stayed unidentified for a larger period in the time of your life when ‘business-as-usual’ feeling was in place.

• Being incomplete in the core understanding, makes us teach the wrong ideas/values to the kids of the next generation

To avoid the ill effects in life, it is imperative that the society as a group develops good practices and follows it even more than the expectations set for an individual. The related knowledge should be imparted to the young ones in the right age as part of imparting education including sex-education.

The emphasis is on the group because the mental range/capability of the individuals vary and for many it may be sub-optimal ,and also as young adults, we, may not have the right insight to find our true love and due to these multiplicity of reasons we some times let it go early (abend) due to the ‘conditioning of mind’ that comes from ideas and contexts like -  

• peer-pressure,

• pressure from hidden societies that the soul is part of

• life goal setting and career growth,

• not being ‘rich; yet,

• not ‘experienced’ enough good things in life yet,

• a ‘feeling’ of this is not the right time etc.,

• a ‘need’ to go places

The problem amplifies because, we are probably surrounded by like-minded individuals with the same ambitions and same or worse problems (due to our 'networking skills and choices') and do not have a clue on why the void exists inside. Sometimes we mistake success and glamour in our potential partner for true love! (But it is never true late to fix such problems if we self-analyse and respect each others' boundaries/feelings).

The so-called sweet spot in life where our probability to identify true-love is more is around the late teenage and in the university phase. We may find it later in life too, but by then we will carry on so-much wounds, backstabs, life-lessons, betrayals and probably an comfortable/unshakable life-setting that makes us difficult to trust or change or both.

For most of the adults, the daily ‘in-pursuit of happiness’ (that may not be the same as ‘in-pursuit of excellence’) revolves around materialistic comforts and happiness derived from the sensory organs (and not heart based or soul based normally). We are not aware of the inner working of the humans and hence we are tuned to material comforts and happiness based on activities inducing sensory organs (if you consider dope parties, sometimes artificially inducing a sense of happiness in mind too!).

All these may displace the inner void temporarily but will not solve the larger problem of not feeling love inside and this is complicated by the inability of the soul to detect the real reason as every passing day – relentlessly gives a false assurance that it is ‘business-as-usual’.

Since we are not able to solve this problem on an individual basis effectively or a large part of the population is seen failing to build upon true love, we should create opportunities and conditions that promote true love and lead to its due recognition in life, that eventually will kill the feeling of void/emptiness.

It is OK, if the society, as such, is seen supporting ideas like adopting arranged marriages, marrying sooner (say- after university education), becoming parents sooner, child adoption, living with family and not moving out etc., Generally, all ideas that leads to the benefit of an individual living in the society by helping him/her fill his/her experiences spectrum in an appropriate way and thus making his/her life fulfilling should be promoted by the society itself. By that, all the individuals who have trouble filling their experiences spectrum, then will get benefitted indirectly and hence we as a society will progress and be considered as blessed!

Other important experiences like being a parent, relocation, missed education. missed travel/pilgrimage, making up a broken relationship, being with family, feeling the union with God etc., and many more should be cultivated and harvested appropriately in live to avoid many such voids in the life. Filling the voids in our personal experiences spectrum is critical and we should be aware as what karmic activities will lead to a very fulfilling life. Even if some voids are unfillable, our mental maturity and/or spiritual practices should help us heal naturally and fill the void with an alternate equal or more powerful experience.

Do you have a void in life? Do you know what it is and how to solve it?

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Hari Om!